Victims of war
by DistantSong
Summary: Shikamaru makes an ultimate choices which decides upon his and everyone's fate. / Set after the chapter 614.


_**Victims of war**_

_**by: DistantSong**_

_**~X~**_

We had no time. No time at all.

There were 236 possible ways for them to finish us in an instant, just by taking two or three moves. My old man's strategy was everything we had, and yet not something I could afford us to try. Every word was as sharp as a knife, risky and reckless, something I had never expected from him. But at least he knew - and I come to realize as I stare at Naruto's posture - it was everything we had left. Our last hope. And no matter how hard I tried to deny it in search for a safer option, it ends in slaughter, with traces of blood far greater. Hell, we were at a war.

In my old man's strategy, there were just too many risks, and chances that everything goes the right way were around 30%. Not enough, but yet it was a satisfying number, must've been, for a man like him to utter it. How troublesome. That is why I hated wars. They were lead without any particular reasons, yet, each side believed they had something to protect - were it people or ideals, it never mattered, in the end it all turned to blood and death, killing and dying, and when it ends, it is as if it never does. Every night you fight the same war again and again, you stain your hands and awake you mourn those you loved and had lost. Geez... So troublesome.

We lost so many.

My old man, Ino's old man, Neji...the people I...cared about. It was a good thing that I needed to keep on fighting, weighing choices and options, even though they all expected me to stop and mourn over my old man. I hated mourning, it was useless and troublesome, it brought nothing good at all. But she...she wanted to cry it all out. Ino. Her eyes were those of clouded sky when we heard what had happened to our fathers. I watched her break there, on that field, stained with blood and kunai tightly held in her hand. Inocihi was everything she had. However, I had to be harsh, so I told her there was no time for mourning, that we had to go on. It amazed me how she just accepted it, already determined to go and continue fighting. She was Ino after all. Unpredictable. And I couldn't bring myself to lose her, to put her life in danger without knowing that there was a way to save her. She heard what my old man had said. She was willing to do it, even yelled at me because I was a chicken and ran the other way just so I didn't have to face it. The truth spoken with her lips... _'Shikamaru...there is no other way.'_

Damn.

„Shikamaru!"I heard her yelling my name from somewhere behind me. I wished I could run, but a single look on my teammate across the field made me stop as if stoned. Choji was a myriad of unreadable emotions, a mask of a boy I had known all this years - one I had never seen before. _He heard it too_, the thought came to me like an accusation. _Everyone heard it. And nobody wanted to do it_.

Damn them all.

„Shikamaru!"she called again, now standing right beside me, facing me. I glanced at her for a brief moment and upon meeting her eyes I jerked like an infant, deciding that staring at my feet was an easier option, less painful. It soothed that little bit of soul I still had left, but was going to lose. Dammit. Troublesome. Why did she have to be so troublesome? Why did she keep insisting to listen my old man? ... I guess...I knew the answer. Choji did too.

It was Ino - an image of a girl still too young to die flashed before my eyes, and I remembered her little oath to use that day in the Nara household's yard. Her tone was so solemn, so formal, as she chirped her little oath. She swore she would accept any mission assigned to her even if there was a huge chance for her to die. Stupid, stubborn and determined, with flowers in her hair. And right now, I knew she did not change.

„Shikamaru, we have to do as your father had told us!" The commanding tone of her voice hit me harder than any stone, I looked at her with the corner of my eye. She was the epitome of anger.

„Why?"I asked, a question directed more at myself than at her, but she heard it and felt obligated to answer.

„Do you want to end this war?" She did not shake, not for a moment, and I knew she pictured it's end.

„Yes."

„Then do it. Shikamaru, this is war. Some people have to die for the sake of the others. Our fathers had to die for our sake, for the sake of everyone fighting in this war. I want to put an end to this. I don't want to suffer anymore and I don't want others to suffer even a second more because you decided to spare my life because I am your teammate and friend! You're being selfish...Other people's friends died too! Shikamaru, Neji died for Naruto and Hinata. He died for the sake of his comrades. He saved two lives. And I have a chance to save everyone who's still breathing, thousands of lives on this battlefield - and those around the world. _We _have a chance." I damned her - I damned her three times before she finished, for every truth she uttered. It was her voice that made me move, it's power, it's strength, so typical for Ino in situations when I lose myself. But there was something even more. She was gravely wrong.

I didn't want to spare her life because she was my friend, she had been one when I was five and a day older than her, and she cried herself to sleep because 'we were not even'. When I turned eight and she held cake pressed to my face, I knew then and there she would never be just a childhood friend. At the age of fourteen, I came to terms with what I wanted - and I wanted so much from her. I wanted to marry her, too beautiful and too troublesome. Have as much children as she wants, and I think she said she wants four, two girls and two boys, first girl, then boy and then twins. I want to retire when my youngest daughter marries some good guy and when my youngest son becomes successful shinobi. When I retire I want to spend my time watching my wife working with flowers, just that would make me happy. I can play shogi or go whenever I want. I also...I always thought -and wanted- that I will die before her. And there she was, standing in front of me, almost begging me to let her commit suicide - and there I was, knowing that her death meant life of thousands of others, and yet, I wanted to grab her, hold her and protect her, run away and leave them die. I was selfish and she was ruining my dreams. Geez. She was never this troublesome.

I knew from the very beginning that my dream of marrying someone who's not too pretty nor too ugly was doomed to fail. She crushed it and made her way in to my future, my number-filed, lazy-colored, safely-guarded world. Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke's fangirl. I was the one stupid. But, it's just that women get under your skin so easily that it's too troublesome to bear it. And you can't resist, whatever she says you can't resist.

...And I couldn't, in that very moment.

I said yes.

She immediately started ordering them all to attack Obito while we do what we must, left me alone with a crumbling heart. I stared at the golden hair that bounced, her figure that neared Choji's, gazing with wide-eyes. I watched as he hugged her and sobbed into her shoulder, and I broke into thousand pieces when she kissed his cheek and uttered orders. She just comforted him with some words sister would tell her brother and Choji left, fighting to stay strong. Sakura was there, few feet away. I saw admiration in her eyes as she stared at the girl she considered both rival and best-friend - and deep sadness, tears she will cry after the war, and confessions she'll make to a grave of stone. Even Naruto, who was on the front, turned to look at her with Hinata in his hands. The girl was at the verge of crying, yet stood tall. Lee and TenTen both stared at Ino with sad expressions - and I wanted to scream at them to stop. Sai was staring at her and when she came to him he told her he was sorry he never managed to make a portrait of her. She blushed and came to Kiba who hugged her. Even Shino removed his glasses to meet her eye to eye. Temari just stared at her, half in awe and half in disgust, and I studied her, the fiercest woman I had ever met. For a moment I wondered if this would've been any different if she was the one I chose to love - irrational possibilities flooded my mind, all of them with an idea of her at Ino's place, and Yamanaka somewhere safe. I could live with that...

What I've become - a man wishing for a comrade's death. So pitiful.

Her feet struck the earth without any sign of courage her expression showed. I drank her in as if she was some porcelain doll that would crumble to dust and pieces if I reached for her.

„Let's do it."she said, preparing to take her position. I was just staring at her, unsure what to do, but she was so concentrated that I just needed her... I couldn't bring myself to disappoint her. I swallowed every ounce of feeling I had and took that step towards her, a step that changed our destinies forever.

She used her telepathy technique on me, connecting me to everyone on the field, even Obito, especially Obito. I had to make him angry. Make him attack us so that Naruto could finish him off. I talked about Rin, asking him questions about her death, saying she always loved Kakashi, never him. I was talking nonsense, but Obito was so naive. It took us ten minutes. Ten minutes. He attacked us, nobody was shielding us because she had ordered them all to go and attack. I would've done the same if I was in her place.

Something like a spear was coming through the air behind me, I heard it, but couldn't move. It wasn't because of her jutsu, no, I was _able_ to move, but I _couldn't_. She was there, right in front of me with closed eyes and hands on her hips. She had no chakra energy left, a drained flower left to death. I couldn't go. I was always the one protecting her, and why leave her in a moment like this, when she needed me to hold her more than ever? _She will understand, Choji will understand_, my mind assured me as I brought her closer with a promise to never leave left hanging in the air, about to be voiced...

But it never was.

I held her like I always did, when it came, when it hit us.

It was a spear, I think, I saw it's peak behind her back, all covered in blood. My blood. Her blood. Our blood. It hurt just for a moment, right when it pierced my abdomen, but my scream got caught in blood gathering in my mouth. I saw clear blue sky, just a little circle in the world painted gray. There was a cloud. Pure white cotton-like cloud like the ones I loved the most. I smiled at the sight, discovering that even my facial muscles hurt. Soon, my head fell to her shoulder, sunk into her lilac scent. She smelled like Heaven. Troublesome Heaven.

Our knees lost their strength and we fell on the floor. I chuckled, well, I spitted blood to be precise, when I thought that at least we were not going to die lying on the floor. That would've been so troublesome. So, so troublesome...

„Shika...maru..."I heard her voice in my ear, weak, like a softest whisper trailing off. She was still hanging on. Troublesome woman. She wanted to die so badly and now when she's about to die she lives. Troublesome indeed.

„Ino..." I discovered I sounded just the same, weak, even weaker. I remembered Asuma-sensei my lips curved in a ghost of a smile. I never knew it would feel like this.

"Ino.." I thought she would answer, I hoped she would. But I felt her body going limp in my hands, her head lifelessly fell on my shoulder, her blonde hair tickling my face. Tears escaped my eyes. „Ino..."I whispered again while making myself comfortable on her shoulder.

Her lilac scent was the last thing I felt, and our picture, yeah, picture of me and her when we were kids, it slipped on the floor from her jacket when the spear pierced us...our picture, us, smiling and blushing...It was the last and the prettiest thing that I saw.


End file.
